a better person

Logic would have it that as we get older, we get better. As our youthful beauty and freshness start to sag & ripen, we are placated by the perks of our experience. Such perks might include being emotionally & spiritually centered, having financial security, an understanding of who you are, what you want, and how to get it. This is the story anyway. I somehow feel that as i get older and navigate the different phases of my journey here, these assumptions don't really hold up. In fact, I find thatrather than evolving in a straight diagonal toward the heavans, my evolution can be better charted by a squiggle that goes every which way and doubles back on itself.

At the near ripe age of 30, I know how to be needy, moody, impulsive, narcissistic & debauch. But I also know how to let go of those things. I know how to find center, how to be healthy and love myself, how to re-frame my attitude, how to manifest change, how to create peace and how to be of service. So in this moment, and in every moment, I get to choose who i am being from a vast array of options, each of which, including the not-so-great qualities, serve a purpose.

After below mentioned playdate last month, plagued by guilt and hangover, I wrote myself a brief manifesto of how to be a better person based on things I know, but choose sometimes to ignore. I taped the list near my bed so that i can be reminded of my highest-self at the beginning and end of each day. I must confess that although the list helps, I havn't been diligent. I've surrendered to complaint & longing in embarrassing quantities.

Seeing as my friend & I foster these bad habits together, we decided today that we would help each other get emotionally 'sober'. The challenge is to rigorously help each other re-frame, let go, stay present, grateful, healthy, self loving, self fulfilled, centered & positive for two weeks. The attitude part of the challenge began today. We developed our plan and practiced gratitude while running errands and cooking a simple yet delicious breakfast. We will cook and eat healthy again. She will help to ensure that i eat, by reminding me that food is love and I will help her eat less by reminding her that she is loved. Starting on Monday, we will be exercising every day. Walking, bike riding, hiking, roller skating, jogging and yoga. We will also be meditating on Wed nights, if anyone cares to join us...



here is my manifesto/list:

Leave people alone. Don’t push.
Be present. Have no expectations.
Don’t complain. Say nothing if you don’t have anything to contribute.
Put energy into working, learning, and making things nice.
Let go of extravagant desires/ longings/ cravings. These cause suffering.
Stop talking/ thinking about sex.
Always consider other people before myself.

Practice meditation.
Practice patience.
Practice letting go.
Practice inaction.
Practice yoga/ exercise.
Practice gratitude and appreciation for what is.

Work in the garden.
Cook food.
Say nothing.
Smile more.